I don't think anyone likes rejection. Apparently rejection creates the same level of pain akin to being physical. Lord knows we face PLENTY of rejection on the floor, whether it be manifested in the shirking of a glance, or in the outright, no to the face for the poor soul who decided to verbalise their intent and invite.
There's a bit of learning curve or trial by fire that everyone needs to go through when facing Tango, especially in the baby years. It's the moment where you're left literally collecting dust in the corner, being overlooked and craving the invites of those dancers, oh so much more advanced than you. Especially as a follow who's role is to accept and not to initiate anyway.
I still remember one occasion in A2 where it was an open practica in Mason Hall. We literally sat there for 3 hours not getting any dances until I had the gall to walk over to the instructor to ask for a dance. One measly dance.
In hindsight super embarassing and super against etiquette but really, how's a beginner supposed to improve without some help? Yes you have your fellow beginners in class where you're mutually willing to help each other with the dancing, but to really know how a move is being done properly and being done in a way that serves to highlight that it is actually your weaknesses being manifested, you need a more experienced partner.
This is where the big debate happens. How much does rejection really mean rejection in a way that is irreparable? I've had leads tell me that rejection to them once means rejection forever. I tend to also err on the side of, if I don't want to dance with you, I likely won't go through the niceties of greeting you with air kisses and small talk. Perhaps, more reflective of my own personality more than anything else. Not one to deal with non-genuine interactions. I am also of the school of thought that rejection isn't nice and to spare you the pain of rejection, I will therefore avoid you first.
Also, how many rejections means, no, I don't ever want to dance with you. I guess this is why the cabaceo works, because it allows an unspoken silence to hang in the air and also the hope that tomorrow, that person will dance with me.
There are a few things that would make me never want to dance with someone again though - arrogance, lack of awareness and a complete lack of respect for the music. Stop moving when the music stops, I implore you!
Maybe sometimes you get tired trying to improve the world and rather the world sort itself out before it involves you again...
There's a bit of learning curve or trial by fire that everyone needs to go through when facing Tango, especially in the baby years. It's the moment where you're left literally collecting dust in the corner, being overlooked and craving the invites of those dancers, oh so much more advanced than you. Especially as a follow who's role is to accept and not to initiate anyway.
I still remember one occasion in A2 where it was an open practica in Mason Hall. We literally sat there for 3 hours not getting any dances until I had the gall to walk over to the instructor to ask for a dance. One measly dance.
In hindsight super embarassing and super against etiquette but really, how's a beginner supposed to improve without some help? Yes you have your fellow beginners in class where you're mutually willing to help each other with the dancing, but to really know how a move is being done properly and being done in a way that serves to highlight that it is actually your weaknesses being manifested, you need a more experienced partner.
This is where the big debate happens. How much does rejection really mean rejection in a way that is irreparable? I've had leads tell me that rejection to them once means rejection forever. I tend to also err on the side of, if I don't want to dance with you, I likely won't go through the niceties of greeting you with air kisses and small talk. Perhaps, more reflective of my own personality more than anything else. Not one to deal with non-genuine interactions. I am also of the school of thought that rejection isn't nice and to spare you the pain of rejection, I will therefore avoid you first.
Also, how many rejections means, no, I don't ever want to dance with you. I guess this is why the cabaceo works, because it allows an unspoken silence to hang in the air and also the hope that tomorrow, that person will dance with me.
There are a few things that would make me never want to dance with someone again though - arrogance, lack of awareness and a complete lack of respect for the music. Stop moving when the music stops, I implore you!
Maybe sometimes you get tired trying to improve the world and rather the world sort itself out before it involves you again...
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