Tangodurians

Nyekekeke, performing at the Christmas Milonga thingy which should be interesting. Slightly apprehensive and hopefully don't make too much of a fool of myself! If there's anything I've been doing besides trying to challenge myself by interpreting harder dance signals from the more advanced dancers, it is a rehauling of the way I've been stepping and transferring my weight. I will forever be challenged by balance which essentially is the core of what Tango dancing is about. I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that Tango is such a partner dance and yet with the element of independence to it. The lean has to be just right, the embrace just perfect, the signals exact to a fault otherwise everything would go slightly haywire. At some point when I'm not concentrating my mind is picking up signals faster than my legs which result in quite a bit of hilarity when the conversation in my head goes something like this: Brain: Right left right, no no ok wait for it ca

Indeed it is comme il faut. Life has become comme il faut. Or maybe I'm just rambling. 2 chips, one number and a whole lot of risk and I have my shoes! Omg omg omg omg omg. Love them + gel shoe pads = magnifique. Tango bliss.

Tango is so addictive but even then there's a limit to how much you can do it. Taking this close to month long break has been good, reconnected with the dance, better balanced. I think it has to do with my mental thoughts too, the fact that I'm a bit more settled emotionally and less "worried" as such about life. We'll see how it pans out once I throw myself into it again. Waiting for the AA Tango group to get together again in KL. We'll see how this fits into our new "life" schedule shall we?

My shipments are finally here, and there, among the bags of goodies and clothes and everything else lie my pair of tango heels. Oh how I've missed you so! I can't wait to get my tango feet started again! tee hee hee.

Tango has social hierarchy. Yup, that's right, as much as we like to think the Milonga floor is a level playing field, Tango has all the constructions of mimicking the real world. As beginners, we are so unaware of what is in store, thinking molinete's are impossible (they are with beginner leaders), wondering how we will ever make ochos look good, wondering how people can react with near perfect timing (that is called connection). First Milonga, November 2009, Bubble Tea involved, a reluctant CC, 10:30 leaving the apt for Vitosh. Darkness, surrender, nervousness, knots in stomachs. Random people asking us to dance, apologetic us, having no idea what is going on. Love, right there. Completely and utterly gave in to the dance willingly. Never looked back since. Last Vitosh Milonga, May 22nd 2010, familiar faces, familiar chatter. Names thrown around, Felipe Martinez performing. Excitement. Letting go. Eyes shut, close embrace, confidence. Can't believe this is the last o

I've pinpointed why Tango is so appealing. Well, not really, more like really acknowledging it now! We all want to be that one dancer that leaves our follower/leader gasping BECAUSE. Well, they would never have felt such an amazing connection before. It's honing ourselves to that point in time where we can meet any leader and be confident in our own skills to be able to match whatever he is throwing at us. Then leave, like a gust of wind, woosh! Good Tango week in KL!

After the countless videos, watching the performances by passing Tango teachers, performances by stage Tango dancers, sitting and absorbing Milongas, the one couple that sticks in my mind has to be T and his fiance who met through Tango in Argentina. Their seamless blending, the fact that she didn't even need to be wearing shoes and their swapping of roles. Even though I was exposed to this early on the clueless beginnings of Tango, you could already appreciate the intimacy between the two. In hindsight after a bit more experience, it becomes even clearer that, that would be the ultimate Tango experience. It's like staring at something without the tools to understand it, then later when you come back with the tools in hand, it hits you, "ah hah!" that's what it is! It's like being told, "this will be useful in life later, trust me", and staring at math sets that have no correlation with your life, until later when you're facing a job assessme

Milonga tonight at Avare apartments near KLCC. Slightly apprehensive, nervous, not sure what to expect, don't know whether I can dance anymore (probably can't reconnect for a bit). Why does this dance have to be so emotional! Seems like yesterday two naive girls walked into their first milonga and fell in love. Is this going to be it again then?

Posting up Julio Bassan and Carolina Mueller's tango vid from Triangulo suddenly got the passion going for Tango again. Amidst the pain of moving and job search and saying goodbye to a loved one and packing and oh the CHAOS I definitely lost the spark. But just listening to a good piece, or watching the musicality and gorgeousness of some of the dancers, I realize that this Tango journey is FAR FAR FAR from over. If anything, it gives me a reason to visit any city in the world and check out their Tango scene. This is way exciting. I think I'm gna try Hong Kong next =). It's funny, Tango reminds me of the time when you're being picked for teams. Not even in the sporting field, but in peer groups. You naturally gravitate to a certain bunch of people and for the rest of your schooling life you're almost pigeonholed into that role. Sometimes waiting for someone to ask you to dance is just nerve-wrecking. Milongas always seem to feel like I'm warming up an engine,

When I said bye to Ann Arbor and when I said bye to Tango. I was really saying goodbye to a way of life that has made me so utterly joyous for the past 9/10 months. Withdrawal hasn't been easy, it's weird to say that a dance changed my life but it honestly did, and now that I've left the cradle of comfort that was Ann Arbor, which I had known for three years of my life, I was floundering. I checked out Practica here, found new people to say hi to, found an Avik reminder which I was SOOOOOOOO happy about. Maybe life isn't quite over yet.

i've not been immersing myself with dancing as much as i should or would a few months ago. The feeling of euphoria after a dance has slowly dwindled down to just merely feeling satisfied that I have not screwed up yet another tanda with another dancer. It's been that way for a while. I've felt numb about Argentine Tango and maybe that's the reason I've been nonchalantly missing the few milongas and classes I was all gung ho about last term. It's been difficult. Maybe in trying to deal with so many other things and feelings, I've neglected to supplement my own desires and needs in dancing. Tango became a chore for me in April. I went to classes because I've paid for them and not because I really wanted to go. It just morphed into this thing I had to continuously do because I've started on it and not because it gave me a certain degree of joy in execution. I have since then taken a step back. I removed myself from tango events and everything that cam

Bye Ann Arbor. Bye Mtango. Bye MATC. Bye Tios. 10 months since my first encounter with Tango. Some people still don't understand my obsession with it, some kind of do, some are hooked. How do I describe the first Milonga. The first time we sat there, nervous, hoping no one would ask us to dance because, heck all we knew was to walk. The people waltzing past us, confident, swirling movements, faces contorted with emotion. I fell in love right there in that darkened gothic-ish bavarian setting that will forever be my first memory of Tango. Oh life. It's only months but looking back it seems like years.

I was sticky and hot at practica and far from being in the calm zen state of mind in a nice cold room which is what Tango calls for. In fact, I was so far from being calm that I ended up flouncing out of the room due to some immature spat on my part a mere half hour after dancing with the instructor. I guess my state of mind was so forced I could barely enjoy my last practica. My eye was wandering so much that I couldn't be 100% civil to the poor beginner in front of me or attempt to help him with his ocho lead. But he'll learn. If he stays. I had a convo with someone about really feeling a dance because I kept doing what I "thought" I was feeling. Then I realized it really was a cycle, that I'm at this stage where I miss the naivety of learning steps for the first time and really connecting with the concept of a feeling and being open to new moves whereas now with a bit  more moves to my repertoire I start to confuse feelings with forced movements, just becau

Tango is something that requires investment. Not only time and money, but above all emotional. It reflects our moods, or more precisely, our moods are reflected in the way we feel when we dance. In the past few months, going to Tango was like going to Church. Not to say I'm even Christian, but it was the same idea, dedication, devotion, immersion. In rain/snow/heat we'd trudge to Mason hall's 3rd floor, eschewing appointments, turning down dinner appointments in order to spend 3 hours learning new moves, connecting with new people. Slowly we see the road unfurling, looking back when ochos looked impossible. Adjusting to stabbing pains in the feet after 5 hrs of solid dancing. Blisters from shoes, elated when we got the move, frustration descending when we didn't. I haven't been blogging for sometime because Tango is like a partner, for now my emotional investment is somewhere else. So, temporarily I have had nothing to write, except to acknowledge the fact tha

  “we dance tango because we have secrets.” - Marilyn Cole Lownes    

You forget sometimes that Tango is so much a part of a person that any little jibe can be taken as an insult. Perhaps this is a general life lesson anyway, in that you never really want to hurt someone by insulting something they hold dear to their heart.

Cikgu said to me today that I was dancing like a little shy sparrow. I stared at him for a bit. Then decided to spread my wings and soar. He said that it became easier to dance with me. Lol. Sometimes you need someone to give you that push. You don't want to come out with guns blazing and then have someone look at you and go. WTF are you doing. You need that encouragement that is subtle, reinforcing, so that every time you start to dance, you remember that, hey, you can actually move, and move decently well.

Tango is less about dancing a set sequence of steps. It is at its core a feeling. Your body is the orchestra and the music is the conductor. That is what sets apart the good from the truly good. There's tango, and then there's TANGO. I shut my eyes today, and trusted.

"You've got to get the fundamentals down, because otherwise the fancy stuff is not going to work." — Randy Pausch ( The Last Lecture ) 

Okay, honestly, leaders should not need to tell me to cross my legs. They should LEAD me into it. I mean, honestly. Of course i technically know how to do an ocho cortado. Of course, i technically know how to do a sacada. Of course i technically know how to do a molinete. But seriously man, if you give me crappy leads to work on, how the hell am i supposed to know that you're leading me into a different step than what i'm performing? Yes we've learned it in class together, but the fact still remains, if your body is telling me to do something else, then dude, that's what i'm going to do. If you're trying to lead me into an ocho cortado and can't get my legs to cross, then maybe, just MAYBE, you're doing it wrong. Ever thought of that? I swear, sometimes men take things too technically that they forget to observe how the body reacts to these tiny changes that they make. I have this one dude basically opening up his embrace, tossing me to his side, neg

There is a malay song that goes as follows: "Andai dipisah lagu dan irama, Lemah tiada berjiwa, hampa" Which basically means, music and rhythm, if separated, leads to a disappointing, soulless (read:dispassionate) endeavor. Last Saturday, at my now 5th Milonga ever, I tried really hard to focus less on my footwork and more on the music. I absorbed the music and tried to just really feel the movements my partner led me into, perhaps getting a gist of his interpretation of the song. I have come to realize that the joys that i experience in tango relates more to how these little beats in each song gives way to tiny little rock steps or provide room for an abbreviated ocho cortado amidst the normal walks we take more often than not. yes, a fancy gancho or a boleo, when appropriate, takes my tango soul to a new level of euphoria, but those tiny improvisations, when executed to near perfect timing to the music makes my tanda magical. It differentiates just dancing for the s

Possibly the best milonga ever ever. Hah, F, are you satisfied I dragged you along now =)? It gets easier as you know more people, just because dancing with familiar faces is something you automatically do. Managed a first time dance with Orang Musik who was teaching me how to step to the Milonga music, fun stuff! Very relaxed, wasn't awkward laughing at the bumper cars simulation our knees seemed to be doing. I noticed something, previously with the other dances I was skimming the floor but with the Milonga I realized I had to react to the music, which meant bop, bop, bop, quick feet, light steps and go with the flow. Orang musik commented, once I had translated the thought into action, that I was moving much better after and he was able to swing me around and change the momentum and direction. Definitely a +. Had the most amazing tanda ever! ever ever ever! with orang rambut putih. God, it was amazing, I've never done such fancy stuff in close embrace and been able to do

I went into starbucks for a green tea latte and ended up getting a Tango CD. Slightly obsessed no? This kinda sums it all up for me ...You feel an urge? Touch its pain, wrap yourself around it. Don't put on airs. What you seem must be what you are, and what you are is a mess, honey, but that's okay, as long as you wear it inside...Time is flowing backward and forward into the vortex. From the rooms come a warm air and a choked melody of syncopated gasps. Something throbs...It always had you in mind, your habits, your twitches, the tiny blood vessels bursting inside you when you hide what you feel...It's all a game. You're going to play it too, you're going to dance with the tiger. Don't worry, your life is in danger. Remember your instructions. Listen up. And suffer, motherfucker, this is the tango... ~Piazzolla Tango was a dance for the displaced, the melancholic strains of the Bandoneón would wind down cobblestone paths as people danced to forget the

Little snippets of music float around that I feel I've definitely danced to before. I was just listening to Piazzolla's Libertango wondering why it sounded so familiar and I slowly started to connect the dots. Heard it at Practica with the live band and it was also in Jenny Smith's video for some English program. Plus I think they've played it at practica before too. It's funny coz it took me so long to hunt down the neotango song that was on during Somer Surgit's class and I'm about 85% sure it's "Borges y Paraguay" by Bajofondo. Attempting to put all the years of piano and music listening skills to play. (It's not surprising I passed my theory by about 1 point and scored lowest for aural in Piano, I cannot listen to music to save my life). Tango is as much about the music as it is about the actual movements. Certain pieces move you and speak to you to move in certain ways. That's what you call musicality.

In relation to Christina's post below, one of the hardest and perhaps most addictive thing about tango is the very apparent lack of structure in the way we dance to a song. Every song and dance is different with a different partner at a different time. It's almost impossible to know what you will be doing next in a tanda, much less prepare yourself for it. Which is probably why more experienced dancers never cease to remind me to not anticipate what they are planning to do next. Part of the equation for this is musicality and i find that in trying to keep up with the moves my partner is trying to make me perform and being extremely aware of how sometimes, how very badly i perform it, i tend to forget to listen to the music. Tango for me right now is more about being able to move into the right steps rather than moving seamlessly with the music. Which is a shame really because when i am listening to the music and when i am less concentrated on trying to do an ocho cortado correc

I have been considering what Tango is going to be like back home in KL. Funny isn't it, when I should be seriously worrying about what I'm DOING with my life, I end up instead worrying about a dance. God help me. But yes, am I being hypercynical when I think "good god, what the hell are Malaysian guys going to dance like!?" I don't know. Does it take a white guy who is from Argentina to be able to "truly" dance the Tango or even then, is Ann Arbor tango not even close to what Tango should actually be like? How do you convey a dance that has no set patterns or moves, where different people tell you to do different things, where movements have absolutely no structure?! It's not like ballet, where there are moves that are perfected and people aspire to recreate these moves to the highest degree of technicality and grace. Tango is about raw emotion translated onto the dance floor, and it is a dance that takes place between two people. I think that

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. That's what happens when the male:female ratio is around 1:2 and you aren't exactly the best dancer around. eeps. Did spend about 2 hrs on my arse yesterday until finally got to dancing when Rambut putih asked me to. He was trying to do some funky things which probably isn't the best etiquette on the dance floor to do, but I have to admit the Volcado thing was fun, even though I am far from being Marcelo Duran on Carlos Gavito. Far, far, FAR from it. Try the opposite + 10 miles. Decided I was tired of waiting around to be asked so asked Orang Tinggi about some Tangonuevo music (in all honesty it was something I wanted to know anyway) and he was nice enough to invite me for a Tanda after. I like how he does the long strides and kinda gracefully sticks his leg up in the air. Lol. Got Mcfeet again much to F's cursing in the background =P. Was decent, felt like I wasn't sure what he was trying to do at some pts, but for the most part

I had my 4th milonga last night. And as usual, i spent 3/4 of the time i was there sitting on my chair trying to look like i am able and ready to dance. Eager beginners get dances? LOL. Next time i'm pulling a C-J tactic. Talk to a guy about something related to tango and after a few minutes, he MIGHT feel semi obligated to ask you to dance. Well, it's worth a shot! My point is, last night, i had maybe 5 dances in a span of 4 hours. That's only about 1 hour of dancing. Not good. Being out of the scene for about 2 weeks, I had difficulties following a few leaders, for obvious reasons. I'm usually not THAT horrible. arrrrrr. I did have a few good dances with Cikgu and MD and maybe Phillo, but T and i could not connect! At all. I felt nothing. Which is probably the worse feeling you can go through while dancing with someone. It's like you become two separate entities instead of one. I felt sooooo bad because i could tell that he was trying really hard to establish that

What happens when you combine La Cumparsita, Lucille Ball and Eggs. This. credit to tangrila.blogspot.com

I've been on a Tango hiatus. It's been about an entire week since my last tanda, and i'll possibly have to wait another entire week before my next practica/milonga. 4 months ago, i wouldn't have missed not dancing for a week. 4 months ago, i wouldn't even thought of tango as being a part of me. 4 months ago, Argentine Tango was merely something i had planned on learning sometime later in life. I'm so glad that my first tango encounter in that tiny little workshop last spring has moved me so much to nudge me into my first steps in tango. Had tall ponytail guy neglected to establish an amazing connection while trying to move a less than coordinated econ freak, i don't think i would've ever ventured into dancing, attempting to understand the whirlwind experience that is Argentine Tango. If the combination of ochos, sacadas, boleos and molinetes no longer makes my head spin with delight, i think i will feel dead on the inside. =P

I'd like to play a game. It begins in a room with the meeting of eyes, an extension of the hands for an invite. A mute acceptance. A man and a woman. The music begins, cascading landscape of the violins with the growling baritone notes of a piano. Two strangers join hands in the middle of a crowded dancefloor, embrazo. There is a momentary pause, the calm before the storm. The violins strain as in tandem, the strong pizzicato and legs sweep across the floor, first in one direction than in another. The first blush of meeting, the tentative start. Slowly, a comfortable niche forms. He pauses testing the waters, moves with more assurance. He questions, "Do you trust?" She responds, giving him  the reply he needs. "I surrender". Syncopated beats fill the movements, a build-up, an explosion of emotions. Molinete, Sacadas, Boleos, Ochos. The violins begin their descent, rubato.  An assertion of chords.  A chorus of orchestral voices, the chromatic trend of

When I'm procrastinating as I am now, I tend to read blogs. Now that I've found tango, I've combined two of my loves together, tango+blog=tangoblogs! Perfection. Like homemade Kaya and bread toasted over one of those ancient charcoal fires. Best teatime snack in the world. Looking around it's not hard to find gazillions of tango blogs all talking about the fanatic drive that seems to grip the Tango obsessed. Funny how one dance can cause that much devotion, but who am I to speak, these are after all the chronicles of us tango beginners! Adapted from http://mytangodiaries.blogspot.com/: "Your baby at One Year - Milestones this month (from Parenthood.com)" - She can stand alone for several minutes. (standing is fine, moving it a bit harder) - Baby walks well(decently so) - Baby expresses her wants with gestures and words instead of cries. (or exclamations of oops/shit/sorry/crap! ) I think...I'm definitely still less than a year old! &quo

I turned up to my first Tango lesson in flipflops. Tango afficiandos (esp the female ones) will probably recoil in horror because a flipflop to a pair of Comme Il Faut's are the equivalent of Loubatins to Phua Chu Kang's yellow construction worker rubber rainboots. A Flip-flop is aptly name for the name it makes, a "flip" and a "flop". A total opposite to the purpose of a Tango shoe. Needless to say I've progressed from there. Tango was something that I imagined as it has been portrayed in countless movies, the erect backs, the rose between the teeth, the opposite facing individuals, the constant dum-dum-dum-da-dum-dum beat heavy music as the dancers not so much glided as stomped whirlingly across a floor, heads snapping dramatically. Such a case of mistaken identity. In the short time I've been dancing, Tango has brought awkwardness, pain, joy, anticipation, trepidation and above all an obsessive compulsion for all things tango, all the time