Vieja Luna

Como el sol hace mucho me alegraba de día
hoy me alegra, en la noche, la caricia lunar.
Mi bohemia se hunde en su melancolía,
mi bohemia la busca misteriosa y fatal.
Si estoy solo en mi pieza, en mi lúgubre pieza,
soledad que matizan cigarrillo y café,
abro bien la ventana y la luna me besa
y me besa la luna con un beso de fe.

Vieja luna
que brindaste la fortuna
de tu plata y tu bondad.
Vieja luna
te quiero como a ninguna,
como nadie te querrá.
Tú sabes
que es un secreto la pena
que en noches de luna llena
suavemente te conté.
Vieja luna
te quiero como a ninguna,
como a nadie más querré.

Cuando ambulo en las noches por mi barrio lejano
divagando de cosas que no son ni serán,
me da el brazo la luna, cual si fuera mi hermano,
y le cuento mis penas, mi desdicha, mi afán.
Es la linda de siempre, mi poética amiga,
blanca, suave, discreta, soñadora, cordial.
Si me ve que estoy triste me acaricia, me besa
y le enciende faroles a mi pobre arrabal.

As the sun makes me happy day long
I am happy today, at night, the moon caress.
My bohemian sinks into its melancholy,
Bohemian looks for my mysterious and fatal.
If I'm alone in my room, in my dark room,
loneliness that qualify cigarette and coffee
While the window open and the moon kisses me
the moon and kisses me with a kiss of faith.

old moon
you provided the fortune
of your silver and your kindness.
old moon
I love you like none,
as anyone you want.
you know
it's a secret worth
that full moon
I told you softly.
old moon
I love you like none,
like no one else will love.

When ambulo at night in my neighborhood far
rambling about things that are not will be,
arm me the moon, as if he were my brother,
and I tell my sorrows, my misery, my zeal.
It's always cute, my poetic friend
white, smooth, quiet, dreamy, friendly.
If I see I'm sad I caress, kiss me
and lanterns lit my poor suburb.

Leading

Really odd dream that I was dancing with you and I was lead...strange. Role reversals much?

Tango is...

Vagar…
con el cansancio de mi eterno andar,
tristeza amarga de la soledad
ansias enormes de llegar.

Sabrás…
que por la vida fui buscándote,
que mis ensueños sin querer vencí,
que en algún cruce los dejé.

Mi andar apresuré
con la esperanza de encontrarte a ti,
largos caminos hilvané
leguas y leguas recorrí.

Después que entre tus brazos
pueda descansar,
si lo prefieres volveré a marchar
por mi camino de ayer…


I havn't poured over tango blogs and critiques in sometime, but as I remember what it was like to discover the dance for the first time, so do I remember what it is like to be so thoroughly entertained by the observations of the people that dance this dance. Not the teachers or world renowned maestros, but the common people that I am more likely to get a dance with somewhere, sometime in the world.

The ability to embellish, to express, to connect. A good embrace is like a warm hug, a bed after 18 hours of running around town, early morning gym, day of work, dinner with friends, tango at night. It has the ability to melt away a day of stress like epsom salts to bootcamp aches.

It's finding yourself again amidst the bustle of senior year job hunts and slightly jaded life strains. It's the heartbreak of saying goodbyes to people and places. It's a chance to reconnect.

And ohhhh, the lyrics. The beautiful heartwrenching lyrics that I have no idea I'm dancing to because I don't speak the language. Yet, all you need is the music. That's all you need, to understand the power of emotions, to express your own feelings at that point in time.

Shoes

I tried on, again, my very first pair of proper dance shoes that I had bought early 2010 when Tango started becoming an activity that was very much a part of my life. Back then those shoes were so new, so fitted, and felt to me kinda high. I remember dancing 5 hours straight in them, 1.5 hours of lessons and another 1.5 hours of practica and sometimes Tios after which resulted in stabbing pains at the balls of my feet which I'd try to alleviate by soaking in hot water and propping my feet up.

Now as I try on the discarded pair, I realize something. That rewearing them has pointed out how much more centered I am in my balance and how much more dependent I have become on swivelly 3 inch heels, and also just how big my bunions are. The CIF's are unsalvageable as my foot seems to have outgrown it, but this pair. Yes this pair that had gotten compliments from CIF owners is still wearable and danceable in. Albeit a lot lower this time which might actually make it easier for me to do crazier things in.

Volcadas

Brilliant lessons on connections last friday and volcadas yesterday. Got home after the Shanghai flight and dashed across to carne y vino to take the lesson. Hopefully can now do it without breaking my back. They made it seem so simple!

In other news, way better balanced now, toes hurt less, weight is probably distributed between toward the middle rather than the inner side. Beautiful stuff!

Light

A long long time ago, someone once said to me "she's like a feather".

Last night someone told me I'd gotten lighter. As in, dancing.

Grounding yourself makes you lighter, how paradoxical :)

Privates

Converted my 2 workshop sessions into a private with Catarina and Gustavo. Also destroyed more of the Central Market Annexe flooring in the process. Oops.

Privates are amazing-total focus on you, spotlight on you, also spotlight on just about every flaw you have much like pimples on bad skin. eeps.

The first thing that I had to adjust was the embrace. Now, thinking back to the various ways that I've been taught about embraces, I will recall two people instrumental to the beginnings of 'what to do with your left hand'-Jacob and Dennis. MTango open embrace taught us to place the hand on the person's bicep. When faced with Jacob-I remember him telling me to put it in a position that was most comfortable for me, Dennis said that my open embrace as it was, was good too.

Being a beginner then, the challenging thing was and still is to some degree, to figure out  how to adapt an embrace to the person depending on height and stature.

Then came the Polish guy whom I had my first encounter of practicing close embrace with. Something I rather not revisit, awkwardness to the maximum. Then of course there was Guillermo who showed me what a comfortable (still one of the best) embrace feels like.

Then there was Marguerite and Runa telling me that a good embrace had connection all the way from elbow to hand-in which Paul told me I was weighing it down which has now translated into a half-arsed attempt at SOME sort of embrace with my left hand.

Anyway, C and G's recommendation was to hold, to really hold the other person in your embrace, not pulling or pressing, but to hold. To be fair, a far more salon standard than nuevo. Ah eff it, I'll figure it out.

Then there was the walking and weight transfer, I still hover a bit too much and never really center my weight to the heel which might account for my bunions that I have now formed. From Alyza's recommendation to keep the weight on the inside rather than the outsides of the foot more than a year ago, I apparently have gotten step 1 (toe) and step 2 (mid foot)  as it should be, but I get wonky when I land which means that I'm ending up on the outside of my heel. Then I also have to skim the floor with my free foot rather than having the tendency to lift. Also ochos are being ruined and I know it's because I'm not truly using my body to turn which results in me emphasizes the swing around the outside of my feet.

What else what else...pushing off the free foot, really arriving. Like a cat. Also turning my feet out because when I stand straight my knee caps are actually inward turning which makes it look...awkward.

Inhaling and keeping the elevation of the upper body at a plateau without raising heels off the floor. Something Ogie was teaching too about thinking of it as a hot air balloon. Right hand holding, rather than placing. Matching energies.

My to do list for Tango from top to toe:
-Head straight, get rid of glasses
-Hold without sticking the elbow up and use your left hand, don't just place
-Breathe in and hold energy level at an elevated plateau
-Upper body raised
-Right hand grasp
-Feet knees out at all times even at rest
-Start with heel solidly on the ground and find your center-be a cat
-Weight distributed from 2nd toe to middle of sole to heel which should be centered above the physical shoe heel
-Push off standing foot and keep free foot gliding across boards-don't lift
-Don't collect free trailing leg so fast
-Don't angle toes upward
-Assert when moving forward

Yeah...short list that! But was good, miss lessons! Best compliment I got was that I'm easy to dance with, but if I don't correct my fundamentals I'll stay in the plateau that I'm in. Fair nuff.

Then getting a surprise asking at the final milonga :). Perfect, I really do like Gustavo's embrace, reminds me of all the good ones I've had in AA that I've now left behind. <3

Dragon Milonga

Split Cheongsams, Gossip times and of course, Tango :).

Funny to think a year+ ago I sat in the same place not knowing anyone, reminiscing as I cast an eye over the landscape of the city that I had finally returned to, and now, was back to the warm embrace of friends and familiarity.

What to say, slowly but surely feeling less challenged and more and more the need of a good, solid, embrace. I miss you. I miss moving as one, I miss you challenging me, I miss goddamn, miss. I miss the safety I feel when I was with you. And sometimes I wonder when I'm going to wake up from this dream and I realize that it isn't a dream, and that this, is now. Reality.

So desperate to hear you say that you'd want to go with me, to somewhere, find a meeting ground on a dance floor somewhere in this world, because I've had enough of giving. But you don't care, not even a little.