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The Amorphous

Tango has meant different things to me at different stages of my life.

Stage 0 - September 2009
"Tango as a differentiator"

Expectation: It started out as a notion of difference - "I do the Tangooo" I'd drawl - red lipstick, long flamenco looking swishy dresses with ruffles and leave everything else to the imagination of my listener. Passion, fire, attitude, dominance.

Reality: Tango is subtle, a conversation not manifested beyond the surface. Yes, red lipstick, no, not long dresses unless you want to rip it and trip yourself up. Yes, passion and attitude but quiet confidence prized above all. A meeting of equals, an intellectual conversation at its most developed state.

Stage 1 - September - December 2009
"Tango as a dance"

 Expectation: Quick footwork, steps, technicality, sequences, stomping across the floor

Reality: I am walking backwards in flipflops - wtf am I doing. Of course I can walk, ok I can't walk with someone blocking my way...now I've forgotten how I walk. Help.

Also, heels, backward, how? Ochos? Wtf, how do you keep your top half balanced with your bottom?

Embrace? He's 60! This is so awkward, what a bloody invasion of personal space, oh hello hottie, yeah ok I'll embrace you...

Wow, this dance was so easy, omg how am I ever going to dance like that? How long does it take? Forever?!

Stage 2 - Jan - June 2010
"Tango as a drug"

 Expectation: Continued progress, lessons galore, abandoning all other college activities and friends for all consuming Tango.

Reality: Matched expectation at this stage, and the added bonus of a significant other - experienced all the firsts of jealousy in Tango - how could you prefer dancing with her to me? Ego and personality, love and loss channeled through this dance.

Stage 3 - June 2010-2011
"Tango as heartbreak"

 Expectation: Tango in Malaysia will never be the same as Ann Arbor - never!

Reality: It was different, small community, but unique in its DNA - met new friends, new dance partners, developed in the dance through them and with them

Stage 4 - 2011-2013
"Tango as a journey"

 By this time there wasn't much expectation - lessons came and went, friendships in the community deepened - mamak gossips til 3am. People came and went, but the core group remains. The DNA of KL needs to be preserved.

Stage 5 - 2013-2016
"Tango as an exploration and awareness of self in the ecosystem"

 Festivals, marathons, Tango as part of holiday, Tango AS a holiday. Connections across borders, friendships forged in the second of the embrace. Memories and histories of the Tangasm and the few that manage to elicit it. Milestones. Building and being core to drive the community. DJ-ing.

Older and wiser - in age and in maturity. In real life and in this alter ego.

What next but to progress to the next level 2017.

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