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Voices

I've stated before that finding your voice is a very interesting thing in Tango. As a Follow-Lead, I realise that when I don't know what I'm doing I'll let the follower do her own thing because I don't know any better what signs that I am projecting. Perhaps if I knew more I'd be fighting more to get my own voice heard as a lead? Of course the best tango happens when you're both comfortable enough to convey your own dancing tones, especially as a follower. Where you can subtly influence the dance and the lead is responsive enough to listen to your voice and "allow" you to do that. Unfortunately allow also connotes a hierarchical view of this dance, so perhaps "allow" isn't the word best to describe it. On other notes, appreciating the giro. How many strokes to a circle, infinite or one? How many steps to a molinete, large or small. I still struggle with the idea that they say the size of the step is the same, no, it's not. I

Origins

Have you forgotten... ...the dusty floors of mason hall ...the Ochos in 721 Forest Kitchen ...the barefoot dances and drunken laughs in a basement ...the overwhelming sadness of missing someone ...the 80 year olds in NYC telling you stories ...tie a yellow ribbon ...pseudo mamaks with Malaysian tango girls ...Vitosh Milongas ...Phoenix Centre post Indian ...crabs and Salamanca ...Steve and Jose ...comments on one shoulder dresses ...Tango across the peony garden in the Arb ...frostbites at 3am Love and memories and heartbreak and tears. All wrapped up in one package called. Tango.

2x2

Yup this! http://gancho.info/why-we-sometimes-fly-and-sometimes-crawl/ Syncopation is AMAZEBALLS.

Sucking Up

There's been a growing sense of discontentment that seems reinforced after 4 days of jostling around the dance floor, not getting too many dances and horrible floor craft. The more experienced people are often never seen anywhere near a large festival and I often think this is for very good reasons. If the intent is to dance then there's no where worse to do it than in a large festival because everyone will swarm to the dance floor, there's often bad gender imbalances and unfortunately the DI culture is quite strong here to the extent that it will suck if you go to a workshop where everyone has a partner already. Granted, there were sparkling moments, such as the devil may care dancing from Noelia y Carlitos, the personification of a hurricane from Sebastian y Maria Ines and the beautiful music from Solo Tango. These remind me again and again of the gems that exist in this dance and the reasons why I continue to want to perfect it. Why do you dance? I'm starting

**** me back

Interesting analogy albeit a bit crude. But that's really it isn't it? Finding the voice of the follower in a very male led dance. http://alextangofuego.blogspot.sg/2007/09/fuck-me-back.html The longer I develop in it, the more I see parallels. Tango reminds me much of the cycle of life, we start out totally dependent on someone, find our own footing and grounding and then revert back to the basics once again. Sitting in a table with family, at twelve o clock sat the senior ladies chattering about old times and anything and everything and at six o clock sat the under 10's, playing rock paper scissors and making a racket. There we were, somewhere in between, literally and figuratively. Flashback to the two leads I had, one a complete mess, footwork all over the place, charting his own territory (in a not very good way) and obviously he could be dancing with a puppet the way he was dancing. I didn't need to be there. The other, strong, powerful, musical, but the

En Tus Brazos

Yo me cegué en tus ojazos I was blinded by your big ey es y fui a caer en tus brazos. and I landed in your arms Y entre tus brazos yo fui feliz, And in your arms I was happy porque te amé con delirio. Because I loved you with a delirium Yo fui a caer en tus brazos I went to fall into your arms y así llegué hasta el martirio; And so I found my torment te juro que enloquecí, I swear I went crazy cuando por dentro me vi, When I saw inside me y comprendí lo que hacía. And I realised what I was doing Quiero mirar hacia Dios, I want to look towards God aunque me muerda el dolor, Even if the pain bites me aunque me cueste morir. Even if dying is difficult Por quererte llegué hasta el martirio, For love I found my torment cuando vi que mi casa dejaba When I saw that I was leaving my home y, aunque mi alma en tus brazos quedaba, And though my soul remained in your arms te dejé, que es igual que morir.  I left you, which is the same as to die ¡Cómo duele en la carne

The In Betweens

A familiar cock of the head, an eyebrow twitch and the same calm register of voices tinged with the little awkwardness that once conjured up so many emotions for me, and still does at its memories. It hurts sometimes, it really does. But I guess that's life right? You live and you let live. Tango oh tango. Getting irritated that I'm not progressing anymore, but guess that's the challenge of this (goddamn) dance. Doppelgangers. Urgh. Bad for me, yeah probably. But tonight, I shut my eyes and snuggled in, and I did not give a damn. Conversations with lovely old gentlemen who can turn on the charm at a switch of a button, I think it just really does come with age! Never found one I didn't like :).

Tango Homes

Where is your Tango home? Where is the place where you walk in and immediately everyone greets you. You take your seat, air kisses all around, ask the one who's been to Buenos Aires, Dubai, Shanghai or Bali how it's going, what did they see, what did they learn. You hear the strains of your favourite melody and catch the eye of the dancer you always dance this orchestra with. He twitches his head in the direction of the dancefloor and you can barely get your shoes on before running onto the floor before that first song finishes. Home. Your Tango Home. Or the origins in a dusty floored classroom, a packed dance floor. The salsa guy trying tango in front of you and you, trying to figure out where to put this damn left hand of yours. On the bicep? Behind the back? Owch, he just stepped on your toes. The arguments over the latest basic sequence you just learnt-"you have to place me here so that the cross happens automatically, signal like that...or maybe it was the othe

Noelia, oh Noelia

Too bad didn't mange to sign up in time for their lessons. I have figured out what it is about her dancing though, it's the fact that you can almost count the beat and rhythm with her movements. Given the fact that Tango's often a melodic dance, I might be wrong in the fact that Mandria is in particular, a track which is highly rhythmic and uncompromisingly so, thus requiring more rhythmic play. But even on mute, you can almost hear the melody and rhythm just be looking at the footwork. Amazing stuff.

Building Credibility

What is your style? I started this dance wishing for boleos like Ariadna and now I want to walk, no, glide like Geraldine. I want the confidence and elegance of Juana's front spin boleos and the sexiness of Michelle's embrace. I want I want I want. Who do you dance like? Well the best compliment would be that you dance like no one else, that you have your own style and your own 'look'. This is what the best couples do of course, they create their own movement and their own interpretation of a move, but still adhering to the basics which connect all the maestros together on the level that they are on. What do you like? Make a choice and make it your own, pick something you like, yes it may change as you discover more and more dancers, find different teachers, music, locations to dance in. Have that flexibility to change, but ultimately know who you are as a dancer.

Something about this song

Urgh. So in love with this song currently. Yo no sé por qué extraña I                        razón te encontré,                                    Carillón de Santiago que está en la Merced, con tu voz inmutable, la voz de mi andar, de viajero incurable que quiere olvidar. Milagro peregrino que un llanto combinó. Tu canto, como yo, se cansa de vivir y rueda sin saber dónde morir... Penetraste el secreto de mi corazón, porque oyendo tu son la nombré sin querer. Y es así como hoy sabes quién era y quién fue, ¡la que busco llorando y... que no encontraré! Mi vieja confidencia te dejo, Carillón. Se queda en un tañir, y al volver a partir me llevo tu emoción como un adiós. I don't know for what strange reason I found you, Santiago's Carillon that is in Merced, with your immutable voice, the voice of my walk, of the incurable traveler who wants to forget. Pilgrim miracle who composed a cry. Your singing, like me, tires of living and rol

Paradoxes

Taught a class at a bar high up in the roofs overlooking PJ and One U today. Crowded floor, complete newbies and people stepping on each others toes, the hallmarks of a beginning tango class. Laughter, conversation, partner switching. Echoes of a time back in a dusty Mason Hall classroom with friends, lovers and strangers. A memory past. I guess I did not highlight what we were dancing to. Amidst the laughter and social chatter going on, if only they knew what we were dancing to were such profound lyrics like " Think it well, I have loved you so much and you have sent me into the past perhaps for another love." How to convoy the paradox that exists in Tango? That everything is an illusion, the intimacy, the feeling, the need to connect as a pair yet to do so by looking inward first. That little spark that follows you forever, that connection that happens in one moment but never again and that embrace you'll spend the rest of your life searching for. Tango is

Buzzed

Chalk up another Tango memory for the ages. Dancing. In the Rain. On Pavement. And a Speedbump. With a Crowd. The rain was the best part even though we all looked like drowned rats by the end with broken ankles and destroyed shoes, but wow. Gave life to the saying "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Been immersing myself in the Sg scene since I'm down and I must say that it's different and much as I'm missing home, so am I missing the KL scene with my wonderful female followers and crazy banter and milongas with S. Sigh. Truly home. But it's refreshing not quite knowing anyone and being surprised in this dance again. That has been nice. That and the mamak sessions post Tango where I pay 2.6x more the price of KL and have seemingly MSG-less maggi mee goreng (NOOOO). Healthier I guess and a lot orangier for some strange reason! I like this plateau I'm on. Granted my feet still aren'

Taking classes as a lead

Tangoblitz wrapping up this weekend with Alejandra Hobart and Adrian Veredice, good sessions, always refreshing to see the level that professionals get up to. Notes, notes, notes! Parallel vs Cross Systems The L shaped lead-linear - Leader leads on dual track system (to the left and to the right of him) -Follower crosses across this track using a back step, side step and a cross over front ocho-forming L shapes zig-zagging back and forth -Leader strides forward on the beat while follower is on a 1+, 2 beat-option to twist the hip into a front boleo for the follower, leader must change weight with every 1-2 step -Leader starts on right foot and follower on left foot   which is the foot further away-Mirror start=parallel system-sacada happens to the cross over track (guy left, girl right) -Variation is to have leader start on left foot and follower on left foot-non-mirror=cross system-sacada happens on the parallel track (guy right, girl right) The L shaped lead-circular -  L

Unconscious Consciousness

I remember reading about the stages of Tango Understanding we go through-(see http://www.tejastango.com/effortless_mastery.html) 1) Unconscious incompetence 2) Conscious incompetence 3) Conscious competence 4) Unconscious competence These definitions definitely hit the spot for describing how tango progresses. Point is this-the more I slip into the leader role the more I realise I have absolutely no idea how to recreate whatever moves I did at whatever point in time. No choreography because half the time I have no inkling of what made me do a move in the first place...except the music. It's all down to the music. So beautiful it hurts! :') Blitzing this weekend! WOOHOO.

The Unselfish Lead

Been putting on the hat of a leader over this past week and enjoying it even more. Yeah I have no idea how to do giros or sacadas, and don't talk about ganchos either, but what I've figured is that as long as musicality is there, as long as connection exists, both parties enjoy it. This has made me wonder about something though-I always thought that leaders were having all the fun at the start-in the sense that the steps that are taken in this dance are dependent on the leaders to have trained and learnt them-as a follower you can follow even if you don't know much about what you are doing, as long as the leader does. All the classes then seem to be about the leader's steps. But then I've also come to realise that, as a leader, you are expected to craft the dance to understand the steps through the viewpoint of the lady, and maybe this is where many teachers don't emphasize enough. That every step you take, you have to realise what signals you are giving ou

Constant

It's been delightful to realise that I've actually reached a new plateau in Tango and it's a good one. It's the one where I'm completely stable, completely on my axis and completely in-tune to what my partner is doing. It's the one where I know the music more and I know how to emote better. It's also the one where I'm starting to kick and slice myself less with stray moves. Not sure where the transition happened though, perhaps by practicing more and finding newer connections? Perhaps on a physical front by being more grounded in my moves and having greater spatial awareness? Whatever it is, hope it stays! Less questions, more acceptance.

The Conversation

So, the conversation has shifted. It's shifted away from the basics, from figuring out what is an ocho, or what is a molinete, or what is a giro, deep deep into the movements. It's moved from the tip to the iceberg and has just begun it's descent past the break of chilly water and down into the depths of the unknown. This is where the true teachers separate naturally from those who don't quite yet know what they are talking about. The conversations I've been having (with myself sometimes) has moved to the point of, how do you angle your ribs within the movement of the side step to set yourself up for the back cross? How do you receive the energy within the collection? How do you transfer the points of receptivity from chest to hips in a colgada? How do you slice through the air like hot butter through knife? How do you hold your own weight? How do you ground, connect, yet play as though you're a butterfly flitting through the air? Paradoxes, all over the pl

The Epitome

God, that voice just makes this so mind blowingly good! Mujer, de mi poema mejor; mujer, yo nunca tuve un amor. perdón si eres mi gloria ideal; perdón, serás mi verso inicial. Woman—my greatest poem is yours! Woman—I'd never had your love before! Forgive me, for your being my glory divine; forgive me: you shall be first among my lines

KLTF2014

This years tango fest was...curious, in the sense that it was a funny mix of people who were not from the region and decided to show up, as well as quite lacking in regional representation. But above all, it was kinda fun, and yet again I find myself miles away from the seriously nervous dancer I was 3 years back and even quite recently last year. I don't know what it is but I've found my feet I guess? This grounding that I need to not be nervous and to interpret the music and not care about what everyone else around me is thinking. Eons ago wise words were shared with me on the dance floor of Vitosh Guesthouse by J. "Don't bother with them, they're all too concerned with themselves anyway". Some things come back from the past and hit you hard when you realise exactly what was meant. Had a couple of dream tandas, beautiful waltzes where my partner exclaimed "you're flying!" and proceeded to try and lift a very panicked me. If I could respond

Hmm...

I can't dance properly after a full day of work and running around carrying 10 yoga mats, rushing home, shoveling food down my throat and then rushing for performances. Sigh. Someone oddly said, after the 3rd song of the tanda, "Oh, I get your style now". Wtf. He could not have been any more insulting. It's at times like this where my benefit of the doubt moments end up being, just doubt. You just really don't know how to lead. That's all. Sheesh.

Of forcefields and energy

http://dancingsoul.typepad.com/dancing_soul/2008/09/energy-and-tango-the-fundamental-base-of-the-dance.html Loved this article, summed up the recent 'breakthroughs' that I've been having with this dance. Things that make following easier: Commit energy to establishing your axis. If you are not on balance, even a good leader has trouble leading you in the dance. Use your breath and energy to create balance and grounding. Send your directional energy TOWARDS your partner, not away in the direction you are traveling. Keeping the energy focused on your leader means that there is a mini force field between the partners, even in close embrace. (!!!) This protects you from getting stepped on much more than trying to get your feet out from underneath yourself. Also, this gives the leader more energy to play with, reducing the leader's tendency to drive you like a MAC truck. If you feel your partner tense, release your solar plexus. There is no need for both people to

Progress

Tango progress happens for me in fits and starts. It's like I suddenly get a breakthrough to another level, then I plateau for ages before suddenly finding and shaping and varying how I do certain basic steps and all the times always working on making my walks like a cruiseliner cutting through waves-bladelike and never bobbing. What I'm finding more often though is this idea of catching energies. Of taking the signal given and pushing the energy through from the receiving end (upper torso) into the expressive end (legs most of the time). Looking back at the start, I can barely remember what it was like to suffer through the basics-like how ochos were super impossible and even now, doing a solo ocho remains a very hard thing to do, what with weight balance and a movement that is designed to do everything to try and throw you off balance. It's this flow, this ease of having music and movement come into one whole package that makes the best dancers so beautiful to look a

Tangueras!

Wednesday session with a flood of women, something around the ratio of 1:3 minimum so the female leads decided to take matters into their own hands. Beautifully fun though, I often feel that women have innately a greater sense of musicality because they are not worried about doing multiple fancy moves (mainly because they haven't been taught it). There's also something very nice about a woman's embrace-and a lot of boob wars going on- which lets you feel for an instant what you might actually feel like to a guy. Still trying to sort out my own lead though, I feel somewhat limited in the movements and there are so many I would like to do, but I don't have the tools or the language to do it. It's also potentially because I'm treating leading as a 'self-learning' thing, thinking that since I already know it's counter move that I can deduce the lead. Unfortunately this doesn't occur a lot of times. There's also this abject panic of knowing tha

Tu Palabras y la noche (Your words and the night)

  Apenas suspiró tu encanto, apenas floreció tu amor, perfume de ilusión dejaste en mi pesar, recuerdo de una noche y nada más. Mi ensueño se quedó en la dicha y nunca te diré adiós, un beso de pasión, partiste sin amar y el claro de tu ausencia tan mortal. Cuando te veo pasar indiferente de amor, la risa es pobre disfraz de mi tristeza, después te alejas y ya mi pensamiento revive tus palabras y la noche del encuentro. Dijiste "siempre serás para mi vida el amor", palabras de tu emoción que ya murieron. Flor de un día, tu perfume, siempre embriaga a mi corazón. Y todo no fue más que un beso, encanto que plasmó mi amor. Después al despertar, la vida sin color es mezcla de dulzura y de dolor. En vano llamaré tu nombre ya nunca escucharé tu voz distancia de los dos, camino sin final, y el sueño que no espeja en tu mirar.   Just sighed your charm,  flourished just your love,  illusion perfume left on my sorrow, 

She got it. She really, really got it.

Besides, most of us come to tango after having had a largely intellectual education. We live in our heads and our computers, not our bodies.   We try to process intellectually what is happening to us. This is not effective when learning movement. Your body works in ways you cannot fully fathom, let alone fully control by your mind. Do you control your digestion? Do you activate your heartbeat? Do you consciously push the blood through your veins? In your brain there are more neural connections than there are stars in our galaxy, and this is a fact, not a figure of speech. Are you controlling them? Or are they controlling you?  Stiffness in a dancer is often the result of his or her conscious mind trying to understand and control every movement BEFORE it happens, which is simply not possible. Your mind is not running the show, it only helps you to understand the intention and the mechanics of the movement. This is why leaders implore their followers: “Please stop thinking!”  http
Tango word for the year: Smooth

Hasta Siempre, Mi Amor (Until Forever, My Love)

Hasta siempre, amor, pasarás de otro brazo y dolerá el fracaso igual que hoy. Farewell, love, you’ll move to another arm and the failure will hurt same as today. Hasta siempre, amor, corazón como el mío, que compartió tu hastío, no encontrarás.Y entre la gente buscarás la mano amiga que te di y sólo así comprenderás que por quererte te perdí. Farewell, love, heart like mine, which shared your distaste, you won’t find.And among people you’ll seek the friendly hand I gave you and only then you’ll understand that for loving you I lost you Hasta siempre, amor, Hoy me sangra el recuerdo como una espina nueva del corazón. Hasta siempre, amor, cuando sueñes conmigo en las noches de frío ya no estaré. Farewell, love, Today the recall bleeds as a new spine of the heart. Farewell, love, when you dream about me on cold nights I will not longer be there. Y no me llames, si me ves a mi también con otro amor, porque es inútil esperar si la esperanza ya murió. And don’t