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Showing posts from 2011

Scent

Tango is like a scent, that unexplainable entry that hits the very core of memory, yet unformed, tangible, oh so tangible edges, but forever just a feeling. Like a memory that has just slipped your net and you wait for serendipity to find it again. It might attack when...you're driving home late at night without too much on your mind, or in a darkened club high on life. Sometimes when I see certain pictures of a certain classroom, all I can wonder is...was it just a dream?

Strangers

Today I felt the missing invite of tango I havnt captured in sometime. Walking outside comfort zones remains so much fun, because you capture the times where strangers are treated as friends. Like the fabulous New Yorker, all of 80 ( I'm guessing), who lifted my spirits just as I was about to bolt from triangulo after not very many dances. He proceeded to tell me to stay then told me the story of how Adam Hoopengardner was the same level of tango as him until he ran off to B.A and got better. Or an apology from an Oregon-ian living in Taipei who was apologizing for not catching me for a dance, n who then proceeded to remininsce with me about tango in the USA. Or another friendly girl who was chatting to me as we walked out after the Milonga, and the bonding over how marvelous tango is. Fleeting moments where we most likely won't see each other again, save that warm feeling of making someone feel welcome. Friendliest tango scene I have yet to come across:) Taipei you have

Immersion

Dancing is something that we lose the older we get, the more we restrain our own actions with the thoughts that course through our brains, of realizing embarassment. Perhaps it started with a comment and furtive glances at each other on the dance floor bopping to Britney pre milennium-perhaps it started with the slow dances of Year 6 disco nights. Awkward, always. And then the statement that you have two left feet, no sense of rhythm or style and grace, some people are just born with it. But Tango somehow transcends all that, it's not a dance, it's an emotion. Above all a connection, with another human being. I've always fought for my own identity knowing what being a woman will connote in this life, yet in tango I willingly surrender to another. I give up my restraints and let the music lead me. And through the crowded dancefloor I catch your eye and the head-cock greeted with a smile. Embracing heartbeats reunited after far too long and foreheads entwined. Thank you
Sublime.

The Embrace of Teachers

Teacher's in a tango community are always going to be your guru. Not surprising that the world 'guru' is used in Malay and other iterations of religion and activities to mean someone of great knowledge and wisdom. You're always going to imprint on the first person who told you to close your eyes, lay your hands on their chest and walk backward, or the one that first shows you an ocho. Ah, to go back into a beginner class. One thing that I've realized I've missed is the excitement of opening someone's eyes to tango, which Mtango practica provided exactly the conducive environment to do. As I've continued on and (hopefully) gotten a better understanding of what is out there, I've forgotten to seek out the beginner-treating them more as a nuisance and a barrier to my advancement to the dance- than anything else. But what I've forgotten is what they teach me in return, challenging the very core and basic knowledge that I have on how to walk, how to

Music fussiness

Been getting fussy with music choices, still all out for classic songs but with the heavier orchestral backing and more sweeping lush violins and sudden rubrato's and crescendo's, mmm, so much more fun and dynamic to dance to then the really staid one tones that SOME of the songs descend into. Good DJ last night, also great dancer, pushes the boundaries of what I can do and reminds me a lot of the talent that exists external to our little community here (much like going back to AA reminded me how beautiful some of the girls danced and how far more this journey is going to take). mmm, forgot how to do traspie's, heh, miss Dennis! Also miss the naivety of just following, embrace is getting messy, have to stop thinking, really do! Musicality FTW!

There was this....

...one moment on the final day of May Madness where we connected so well. The lesson for the day was rhythm and tempo and sorting out your minims from your crotchets and quavers in the walk. The linear grapevine movement and I was so not bothered to dress up with my left big toe half out of blood circulation! And we connected. So. Well. Last cumparsita's at Thursday practice at Kenville, being interrupted from a convo with a mich. alumni to dance. the. last. dance. I trusted you. I still do.

Ho hum

Took a 2 week hiatus off tango due to raya and other things going on, slowly but surely havn't been going as regularly and it's like slipping back into something that doesn't fit too well, but is all too familiar. I sat there and started the wishing again, it's been so long since Mason Hall MTango lesson days that I've forgotten that initial rush. What happened to worrying about MY own moves rather than whether I can do what HE wants to do? What happened to that? Have to try recapture it, and stop my mind from telling my feet to embellish, I dance for myself, no one else.

One Step Forward

We always live our lives with so much anticipation, so much thought planned out to anticipate the future as best as we can. But lord knows, the worst thing you can do is predict the future with what you've known in the past. Life never works out that way. That being said, time to cast away the work of days and tango into the night =). To give up anticipation, and to feel.

Tango oh Tango

I love you, I hate you, you make my feet hurt like shit and you give me so many bloody insecurities and bruised big toes I might as well hide in a corner and never emerge. I'll never conquer you and I'll spend my whole life (and too much money) trying to perfect you, before realizing what I needed was the very thing I started off with, but am slowly losing...rawness. I live you, I breathe you, you  brought  me in touch with so many people and a couple that are unforgettable...that's what you are. Maybe you'll end up being my bridge, my connector, in fact, you already are, to myself, to friends, to lovers, to memories, to a past to living in moments suspended together, to jealousy, envy, pride, embarassment, to futures and foreign places. To big old santa claus guys proclaiming tango as heroin, to musty May nights in Triangulo missing someone, to 24 hour flights and 4 day festivals, to reconnecting as never before, to La Cumparsitas x 10, to barefoot Tango in kitchen

Music Mania

Decided to do a list of all time favourite tango songs (which are slowly but surely growing! Seem to have a favourite one every week): Bahia Blanca-Di Sarli Danzarin-Troilo Vida Mia-Fresado El Panuelito-Pugliese A La Gran Muneca-Canaro El Choclo-Tango Libre To Tango Tis Nefelis-Haris Alexiou A Evaristo Carriego-Pugliese I have a penchant for dramatic orchestral violin sweeps, oh and rubato, and heavy "chunky" down-bows Siempre igual es el camino  que ilumina y dora el sol...  Si parece que el destino  mas lo alarga  para mi dolor.  Y este verde suelo,  donde crece el cardo  lejos toca el cielo  cerca de mi amor...  Y de cuando en cuando un nido  para que lo envidie yo.  Vida mia,  lejos mas te quiero.  Vida mia,  piensa en mi regreso.  Se que el oro  no tendra tus besos,  y es por eso que te quiero mas.  Vida mia,  hasta apuro el aliento  acercando el momento  de acariciar  felicidad.  Sos mi vida  y quisiera lleva

May Madness

3rd workshop of day 3 of intense tango fest and my feet and mind had just about enough. I went downstairs in the Union to get a subway and sat in the quiet that envelopes the basement during Spring semester when no one else is around. Teachers were good, met new leaders that I connected well with, was amazing having a La Cumparsita for every day =), felt so normal but I still missed my gaggle of girlfriends to laugh over things about and gossiping over shoes! It was brilliant trying to see whether a year on I could match the amazing skills that AA leaders have and I was not disappointed with myself, or with them. Where Leaders>Followers?! Gasp, shock, horror. But inspite of everything, the tango that really left me feeling connected was just general weekly practica with the old guards of tango. The ones that are always there, it was brilliant hanging out with them too and reminds me about how I discovered the other people that make up Ann Arbor, not just the undergrads, it'

Embraces and Musicality

You know that feeling, that of connecting with the music, with the partner, with something inside yourself, with comfortable embraces and hugs. Because that's what it really is isn't it? The ability to let yourself be protected for a while by someone else, for surrender. Decent KL tango fest, doesn't help that 2/3 of the workshops were for dedicated couples and there are obviously too many girls and I miss my partner =(. But it was good, Traspie's continue to be impossible and there's only so much I can do on my own (duh, coz I'm following), but seriously ornamentation is horrendously hard. I'm starting to crave simplicity again. I have to stop forcing the moves, urgh. Hopefully AA will be good, it'll be interesting to see how I respond post a year+ in. Milongas were so-so, didn't really get asked that much and after awhile it takes all my resilience and willpower to not walk up to someone and just ask for a dance =S. URGH. Hopefully won't be

May Madness + KL Tango Fest

Hmm, I have to say I'm more stoked for MATC. Wonder why =P

Disconnect

It's been about a year since I've danced my last tanda. I can't believe I've let life and love and work and school get in the way of tango. The sad and horrible part in that is I feel like it will be a while before I can find time to just dance again. I've certainly lost any ability to dance whatever it was that I could a year ago. I feel disconnected from the entire endeavor and I don't know, a tinge of guilt that I've managed to let it go so easily. The school holidays are coming, maybe then?

Miho Omaki y El Chino

Brilliant teaching, humorous, insightful, emphasis on axis and movement that I've missed so much. Reminds me of the level that Mtango manages to reach too on a weekly basis. Sigh. One of the best workshops I've done, learnt a wealth of info.
“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to show on walls, no poems to be printed; nothing but that fleeting moment when you feel really alive. It is not for unsteady souls.”

The inbetweens

Violin's are gorgeous instruments in the right hand. In the wrong hand, they sound horrendous. Absolutely and utterly. In the same way, Tango can range from awkward to sublime. Painful to ecstasy. The inbetweens of the whites and blacks of a keyboard, the places in between that the flats and sharps do not do justice to. This is what a violin captures that a piano does not. This is the space of waiting before the step and the drop of the finger. Step because the music tells you to, not because the pattern dictates it. Greatest point to take in the Tango journey.

Stages

It's funny how I often think of topics to write at moments where I have nothing to write them on, which results in me typing a one-liner in my sms column as a trigger which later when I go back to refer to tends to make absolutely no sense to me! But yes anyway, Tango stages! 1) You have entirely NO idea what the hell the dance is about and walking seems like the most impossible thing to do. You jump up and down inside when you finally manage 5 meters w/o crashing into each other and are elated when the instructor comes over and leads you in a way that you actually feel like you know what you doing. You go away completely and utterly motivated to want to know more. 2) Basics are handed to you, ochos! impossible things! Molinete's! wtf, my legs can do that....omg leader why are you a beginner too! 3)Sacadas and ganchos and all the other good stuff. Now we're talking. 4)After getting to know the community and everyone around (obviously Tango isn't just a dance,

New Year, New Connections

Ah, its already the end of Jan! How did that happen?! Been tango-ing more regularly, still annoying there ain't enough guys but the casual atmosphere (sometimes probably totally blasphemous to the traditionalist) scene in Malaysia is easy enough so that everyone feels comfortable just dancing because we love the dance. Sometimes I think tango can be too ritualistic to the point it seems odd to express yourself in certain ways, but sometimes I guess the informal-ness also grates a little. Back to being comfortable dancing again, definitely got things to work on and improve but this is never ending obviously. The heels are still gorgeous and I've been toying with the idea of another pair. Gulp. Time to revisit the casino?! Tango fest in April and then 2 weeks later in May. Woohoo.